Stop the Mommy Judgment Cycle


Motherhood feels like a rat race of being crazy busy with taking care of children, keeping a clean house, working, running errands, transporting kids where they need to go and the list goes on and on. There never seems to be a break.

There are so many societal and personal expectations of being mothers that makes us feel like we are never enough. How often do we see #badmom or #momfails? We see the highlight reels of other moms on Facebook and Instagram and we don’t feel like we add up. This fuels the mommy judgment cycle.

Stop the Mommy Judgment Cycle 1

There’s so much judgment in the motherhood world from breastfeeding to formula, discipline methods and so much more. It’s insane. Motherhood is hard and feeling judged and inadequate doesn’t help.

I don’t think that I am alone in experiencing judgment from other moms. I’ve been told that I have nursed for too long, I didn’t rock my babies long enough, I don’t discipline my kids right and the list goes on. These moms probably didn’t have the intention to make me feel like I wasn’t mothering well, but it did.

It’s human nature that those negative comments are so much easier to recall than the positive ones. It’s so easy to follow the herd and judge.  I’ve had to work on being more open-minded.

I love researching as much as I can about each stage of parenting I am in. This isn’t a bad thing, but it can make it easy for me to judge other moms who have a different parenting philosophy than I do. When I feel that mommy judgment is creeping up, I have to change the inner dialogue that goes through my mind.

Stop the Mommy Judgment Cycle 2

So how do we stop this mommy judgment cycle?

This quote by Frank Outlaw has helped me evaluate my own thoughts. “Watch your thoughts; for they become words. Watch your words; for they become actions. Watch your actions; for they become habits. Watch your habits; for they become character. Watch your character for it will become your destiny.” Ah, I love that. We have to pay attention to our thoughts because they ultimately change our destiny.

Personally, I am working on speaking words of life to myself and everyone I am around. I often think of encouraging words, but I started to realize that I seldomly say them (especially to other women). I am challenging myself to say the positive things that I am thinking and to discover the root of the negative thoughts.

Instead of judging other moms, we need to support each other on this journey. It isn’t a competition. What if we said words of encouragement to the mom who is struggling with her crying kids at the grocery store? How much would you brighten her day?

How can we put the competition aside and support moms? Join me on the journey of changing our mindset by taking my 5-day challenge. Click the link below…

Featured Image by joel herzog on Unsplash

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