How to Create a Family Conversational Hub

How to Create a Family Conversational Hub

How to Create a Family Conversational Hub

Did you know that according to new research, American families get only 37 minutes of quality time together each day? This statistic is staggering. How can we create intentional routines to get back more quality time with our families?
Look back to how you are spending your family time right now. Where does your family usually congregate? Do you all come together at the dinner table, the T.V., or somewhere else? It doesn’t just have to be one place. All families have at least one place or activity they do that brings everyone together.
How to Create a Family Conversational Hub 1
How to Create a Family Conversational Hub 2
Most of the time, we don’t put much thought into where our family comes together. But what if we started being deliberate and choose activities and places that would make our families thrive. What would that look like?
Creating a family conversational hub will encourage a deeper connection with our kids and give more opportunities for meaningful discussions. Learn how to create your own family conversational hub that fits your families DNA.

How to Create a Family Conversational Hub

ONE

What do You Want Your Family to Look Like?

Dream with your spouse (and kids if you would like) about what you want your family time to look like. Look back at the times where you felt most connected with your family. What did those times look like? What were you doing? In my family, my husband and I decided that we want to make conversations and memory-making a priority in our family and not screen time.

TWO

How Can I Turn my Vision for my Family into a Reality?

Look back to what you want your family to look like. What are some doable steps to get there? Each family is different and our priorities are different. From my family’s decision, we needed to figure out how to make screen time not our go-to and find activities that would foster conversations and lasting memories for our family.

We brainstormed places and activities where we have had great conversations without a screen distracting us. We came up with three ideas: sitting in a hot tub talking, sitting around a campfire, and taking hikes in nature.

THREE

Making Your New Family Reality Happen

Once you have tangible ideas on how to make your vision your reality, how do you get started? If you need to buy something and/or take something away to make some positive change in your family, DO it!

Our ultimate goal was to get a hot tub, but it wasn’t in the budget. So we started out buying an inexpensive gas firepit from Costco. We called it our poor-man’s hot tub. We chose a gas fire pit because we knew that if we had to go through the process of starting a fire, collecting and splitting logs, it just wasn’t going to happen. The convenience factor of just flipping a switch to get an instant fire is lovely, plus we don’t smell of smoke afterward- win-win!

Since our fire pit is portable, we have had a fire in our front lawn and invite neighbors and of course, we have used it in our backyard. Our fire pit is a conversation hub and gives us the rustic camping feel without the effort and planning. Plus, I’m not ready to go all-out camping with my little ones yet.

To our great surprise, we landed a crazy deal and bought a hot tub. We weren’t planning on buying a hot tub anytime soon (our plan was to buy one in 5-7 years). But, I found one while I was on the NextDoor App for $200 and it was in great condition. So, we bought it and LOVE it. We have the temperature down low enough that my family goes in the evenings or I take the kids in with me in the morning. My husband and I will go in when the kids go to bed. We talk about our day and everything without distractions. Quality time is my number one love language, and by having the hot tub, we are able to spend more quality time as a family and with my husband.

We also started going on more walks and hikes as a family. Exploring nature is so much fun and we want our kids to experience the outdoors. We live near many paved trails that are ideal for strollers and biking. Our goal this summer is to take our family biking.

What or where is your new conversation hub going to be? It’s time to turn your vision for your family into a reality. Don’t expect a quick-fix or that your family is going to be perfect. We aren’t perfect, and no one is. Keep working on creating your new families normal, and soon enough it will become your families way of life.
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Create a Family Culture that Loves to Read

Create a Family Culture that Loves to Read

Create a Family Culture that Loves to Read

 

There is so much negativity out there on reading. So many adults and kids hate reading. I want my kids to enjoy and love reading. I love the quote by Harry Truman, “Leaders are readers.” This is so true!! Being a continual learner is key to success.

 

Reading opens our eyes to new ideas, potentials, and creativity we would never have had. I can honestly say, I would be a totally different person today if I didn’t read. Reading has transformed my life. Books have changed my perspective and helped guide me through marriage, pregnancy, parenting, and so much more. 

 

Create a Family Culture that Loves to Read 3
Create a Family Culture that Loves to Read 4

I want to instill in my kids the hunger for learning and the love of reading for their own pleasure. Plus, reading is incredibly beneficial for our kids.

Check out these reading statistics:

Reading aloud to young children is not only one of the best activities to stimulate language and cognitive skills; it also builds motivation, curiosity, and memory.

The single most significant factor influencing a child’s early educational success is an introduction to books and being read to at home prior to beginning school.

-Creating a steady stream of new, age-appropriate books has been shown to nearly triple interest in reading within months.

As you can see, reading is so important in our children’s development. So how do we encourage a culture of reading at home?

4 Ways to Encourage Your Kids to Read

ONE

Turn the T.V. Off

The television is such a convenience and it is our cultures normal. The average child watches about 24 hours of T.V. each week. Yikes!  Television encourages kids to feel the need to be constantly entertained. Not only that, T.V. doesn’t stimulate our kid’s brains and it decreases their physical activity level.

If your kids are used to a lot of screen time, start replacing that time with reading.  Yes, it will take time and may feel like an inconvenience, but it is worth it.  Being able to read to my kids gives them quality time with me while they are learning.

TWO

Create Reading Routines

Kids thrive on routines. Start adding reading into your existing routines. In the morning and/or at bedtime, read a devotional or a few stories. If your kids are older, read book series like the Narnia series by C.S. Lewis before bedtime. Make reading to your kids a habit so it happens.

THREE

Go to the Library

Go to your library frequently and let your kids choose their own books. Libraries are a great way for your kids to read a variety of books, plus you don’t have to own tons of books. Libraries are really upping their game. Check out my post, “4 Surprising Free Resources at the Library.”

There are tons of classes for kids and adults of all ages. You can check out more than just books too. We have checked out camera lenses, puppet and book kits, cake pans, fishing poles, scrapbooking tools, projector and screen and so much more. The resources are amazing. Check out your libraries digital books and programs. Most of the books I read are free from the Hoopla App.

FOUR

Change your Mindset and What You Say

So many people have a negative attitude towards reading. If your kid has a negative attitude or maybe you do, address it. Change the way you talk about reading. If your child dislikes reading, don’t allow them to say negative things about reading. Teach them to rephrase it by saying things like “I am practicing reading” or “I’m learning to enjoy reading.”

There is so much research on mindsets. Most of us want our kids to have a growth-mindset and not a fixed mindset. In a fixed mindset, a child would say I am not a good reader and they would feel like that is their fate. They don’t believe that they could ever be a good reader, it is fixed.

But a growth-mindset child would say “I am working on becoming a better reader,” they know that it is within their power to be able to achieve or not. Pay attention to how you talk about reading. If you are negative towards reading, your children are more likely to be negative too.

If you say that you don’t have time to read, change what you are telling yourself. Let your children watch you read. Start changing your mindset first, and then watch how your family will follow.

Make reading a priority in your family and watch your family change and grow. Let’s make reading a priority so our children will have bright futures.
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Motherhood’s Dirty Little Secret: Postpartum Depression

Motherhood’s Dirty Little Secret: Postpartum Depression

Motherhood’s Dirty Little Secret: Postpartum Depression

Survival mode in motherhood is no fun. I lived there for a while and it sucked all of the joy out of me.  I was dealing with postpartum depression after the birth of my son and I felt like I could barely get by. I didn’t deal with postpartum depression with my daughter, so it caught me by surprise.

My list of to-dos was a mile long and I had no energy. I felt inadequate and I felt like I was missing out on what should have been a joy-filled season. I was living for naps and bed. I was so exhausted. When I was in this season, I felt like I would be an inconvenience if I asked for help. I felt like I should be able to manage my home and raise my kids well. I felt ashamed that I couldn’t just buckle-up and be good at this motherhood thing, so I didn’t tell anyone how much I was struggling except my husband (who was incredibly supportive).

I wish I would have been able to put away my pride and ask for help. I know people would have helped if I asked. Now that I am out of that season, I have a much easier time admitting that I dealt with postpartum depression.

So many women suffer from postpartum in secret. I’ve heard stories of women who end up committing suicide because of it and not a single soul knew that they were struggling.  This is such a tragedy. If you are dealing with postpartum depression, don’t keep it a secret. Tell someone, actually tell a lot of people. We need so much support in the motherhood game and we need even more when we are dealing with depression.  

Motherhood’s Dirty Little Secret: Postpartum Depression 5
Motherhood’s Dirty Little Secret: Postpartum Depression 6
The turning point for me was when I was honest with my husband about how bad my depression was. He was worried and wanted me to go to the doctor, so I went the following day.  I went to the appointment and they prescribed me an antidepressant, but they said it takes a month before it will start to work.

Something inside me felt like I shouldn’t take it that day (please listen to your doctor). I decided since it would take a month before the antidepressant would start helping, I would try to personally get better in a month. If I couldn’t, I would take the pills. I called my midwife the following day and told her my plan, and she said I could try it (and she would check up on me).

These four tips helped me get out my dark period of postpartum depression.

4 Tips to Get Through Postpartum Depression

ONE

Write Down What You Accomplish and Who You Are

I started to retrain my thinking. I wrote with a dry erase marker on my bathroom mirror everything I accomplished, even if it was something simple like giving my son a bath. My mirror started to fill up with all of these accomplishments. It was a great reminder that I am productive. My husband would write my positive character traits on the mirror too. I needed those encouragements.

TWO

Ground Yourself in Truth

I started reading my Bible again and it made all the difference. Finding my identity in Christ helped to drown out my inadequacies. Truth cuts out the lies we tell ourselves.  Reading consistently gave my mind something else to dwell on.

THREE

Give Yourself Grace

I started viewing the depression as a season and not a permanent reality, it gave me hope.  I changed my expectations of a perfect Martha Stewart home. If my laundry or dishes didn’t get done, it was ok. This was really hard for me, but the most important job was taking care of my kids and myself.

FOUR

Enjoy the Simple Joys

Once I slowed myself down, I was able to enjoy my children more (and finally stop bleeding). I started to learn how to simply be. The household chores can fall behind for a bit. Our kids grow up so fast, let’s not miss the whole process.

Once my mindset shifted and I wanted to get better, my depression lifted quickly. If you are in this season friend, it doesn’t have to be forever. Get help, speak up, get some rest, and pay attention to what you are thinking. Postpartum depression shouldn’t be a taboo topic; you are not alone.

And for those of you who are not in this season, reach out to the new moms around you. They may be struggling, but will never speak up. Make them a meal, clean their house, offer to watch their other kids, etc. Let’s support each other through this motherhood journey.

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5 Steps to a Tidy Kitchen

5 Steps to a Tidy Kitchen

5 Steps to a Tidy Kitchen

Do you ever look at all the piles of stuff everywhere and feel totally overwhelmed? I used to feel like I could never keep my house clean, even before having kids. Once I started having children, the mess just got worse and I kept excusing it, blaming it on my kids. I realized that I needed to change myself and start creating habits to keep my home in a less chaotic state.
5 Steps to a Tidy Kitchen 7
5 Steps to a Tidy Kitchen 8

Honestly, I didn’t know where to start. I started to survey my house and realized that most of my stuff doesn’t have a home. I had paperwork in four different places and toys in random bins. I decided that I wanted every item in my house to have a designated home. In doing this, I decided that I need to deal with my stuff and choose what needed to stay and what didn’t.

I also knew that a clean and organized home wasn’t enough. I needed to be disciplined in maintaining my home on an everyday basis. After looking at my home, I realized that my biggest frustrations with mess and clutter was my kitchen. So, I started there.

Here are the five steps I took to get my kitchen from being a constant mess to a more tidy and less-cluttered kitchen. I’m not perfect, and I still have those days where it is messy. But my kitchen is SOOO much better than what it used to be.

5 Steps to a Tidy Kitchen

ONE

Keep the Essentials and What You Love

My kitchen is small and my countertop space is limited, so I made it my goal to get rid of enough kitchen supplies to put almost everything out of sight.
I cut down on the super specific kitchen gadgets like my avocado slicer and strawberry huller. Who really needs them anyway?  If the item wasn’t multifunctional it was given away.
Eventually, I was able to pare down to the essentials and man, does it feel wonderful. I can open a drawer without searching endlessly for what I need.

TWO

Become a Detective to Solve Your Problem Areas

The most common countertop space-sucker for me was my clean dishes that were ‘drying’ for days. I needed to find a solution to my problem. And surprisingly, the biggest change for me in my kitchen was getting rid of my drying rack. Read my post 4 Tweaks to a Clutter-Free Home for more details.

 

I now hand-dry my pots and pans and put them directly away instead of letting them dry for days and take up precious counter space. I have room for everything in my kitchen now and my countertops have space.

THREE

Work Smarter not Harder

My sink used to be filled with dirty dishes because my dishwasher was in use, so I had no room to wash any of my dishes. The dishes became so much harder to clean since they were still dirty and the cycle continued. Once I started running my dishwasher at a convenient time, I was able to load my dishes directly into the dishwasher. I have days that I am off schedule, but this has helped me immensely.

FOUR

Clean While You Cook

My husband can attest, that I would not put anything away until I was done cooking. I wish I would have started cleaning as I cooked years ago. Creating new habits takes work and discipline.

I’ve started reciting this mantra in my head “if it takes less than 30 seconds to put it away, put it away.” By reminding myself to put in the little extra effort, it pays dividends later. I try to put items away as I cook because after dinner I don’t want to clean up after cooking, plus put away dishes.

FIVE

Create an Inviting Kitchen

Most of us are in our kitchens often. What if we made our kitchen look and feel more inviting?  I started to diffuse essential oils while I cook and having fresh-cut flowers from my garden. By making my kitchen more of an oasis, it has helped me keep it clean.

Once my kitchen was neater and more organized with what I truly love and use, I have had a much easier time wanting to keep it clean. I struggled and still do with being disciplined in keeping a clean kitchen. When I have an off day and my kitchen looks like a bomb went off, my mood goes sour fast.

Once I have started putting the correlation together, keeping a clean kitchen makes me a better mom and wife. When my kitchen is clean, I cook more and we eat healthier. It really is a domino effect.

What area of your home is the big domino that will affect change in other areas of your life? If you aren’t sure, what area or items always seem out of control? Start paying attention to what areas are the most frustrating to you. Once you start evaluating what you own and being a ruthless editor of what comes in and out, you can find freedom. Make the changes you need so you can be a more available momma and have a more peaceful home.

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Are You Teachable, Momma?

Are You Teachable, Momma?

Are You Teachable, Momma?

One of the most important qualities I want to live out and pass on to my kids is being teachable.  If you are teachable, you are constantly learning, doing research, being a good listener, and moving forward. Being teachable casts away pride.

I never want to be unteachable. When we get to the point that we think we know the right way or the only way, that is when we stop growing. I’m sure you have heard the saying that ‘they are just stuck in their ways’. I don’t want to become stuck in my own ways when I get older. That is such a limiting mindset and doesn’t help anyone.

Are You Teachable, Momma? 9
Are You Teachable, Momma? 10

I’m starting to see a lot of moms who are already ‘stuck in their ways.’ This is really sad. I don’t know if it is a generational characteristic or what. But, I don’t think any mom can truthfully say they are an expert in parenting and that their way is the right way.

When moms stop being teachable, they won’t listen to feedback, read books, blogs, or listen to podcasts that will help them become a better mom. They suffer and their kids suffer.  We are not meant to be know-it-alls.

Relationships are built when we are teachable. We want our children to be teachable, so shouldn’t we be teachable? I’m not trying to finger-point, but this is a problem. There are some areas in my parenting that I need to be more teachable. This is a process.

So how do we become more teachable?

ONE

Don’t be Judgy

Listen to someone who has different parenting views than you and ask questions. Learn from others why they are parenting the way they are. Ask them questions so you can understand them. Learn from other perspectives. You still might disagree with them, but you will able to understand their heart. Most moms are just wanting to do what is best for their kids. Their method might look different than yours, and that’s ok.

TWO

 Start Learning Again

Read a new parenting book, blog, or podcast. Knowledge is power. I can’t imagine what my life would be like if I never read or listened to podcasts. My parenting style changed from one book. Books have changed my life for the better. And if you feel like you don’t have time, listen to audiobooks or podcast. Make time for it. Readers are leaders.

THREE

Watch What You Say

What we say becomes our child’s inner voice. Are we uplifting our kids or constantly scolding them? How do you talk to your children?

What we say about our kids and to our kids becomes their future. I just read an amazing parenting book called “Why I Didn’t Rebel” by Rebecca Gregoire Lindenbach. She talked about how the majority of kids that rebel has parents that call their kids stubborn, sassy, drama-queen, or say things like when he becomes a teenager, he is going to sneak out. And guess what, when you speak negative things into your child’s identity, they will fulfill it. We need to speak words of life over our children.

If you feel like you are stuck and not moving forward in life, become teachable. We are never meant to be stuck in our ways. Never stop learning. Mend broken relationships that have been damaged by different beliefs or perspectives. Listen and learn. Let’s start uplifting mothers, we all need it!
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