How to Create a Family Conversational Hub

How to Create a Family Conversational Hub

by | Aug 14, 2018 | Intentional Living, Parenting | 0 comments

How to Create a Family Conversational Hub

Did you know that according to new research, American families get only 37 minutes of quality time together each day? This statistic is staggering. How can we create intentional routines to get back more quality time with our families?
Look back to how you are spending your family time right now. Where does your family usually congregate? Do you all come together at the dinner table, the T.V., or somewhere else? It doesn’t just have to be one place. All families have at least one place or activity they do that brings everyone together.
How to Create a Family Conversational Hub 1
How to Create a Family Conversational Hub 2
Most of the time, we don’t put much thought into where our family comes together. But what if we started being deliberate and choose activities and places that would make our families thrive. What would that look like?
Creating a family conversational hub will encourage a deeper connection with our kids and give more opportunities for meaningful discussions. Learn how to create your own family conversational hub that fits your families DNA.

How to Create a Family Conversational Hub

ONE

What do You Want Your Family to Look Like?

Dream with your spouse (and kids if you would like) about what you want your family time to look like. Look back at the times where you felt most connected with your family. What did those times look like? What were you doing? In my family, my husband and I decided that we want to make conversations and memory-making a priority in our family and not screen time.

TWO

How Can I Turn my Vision for my Family into a Reality?

Look back to what you want your family to look like. What are some doable steps to get there? Each family is different and our priorities are different. From my family’s decision, we needed to figure out how to make screen time not our go-to and find activities that would foster conversations and lasting memories for our family.

We brainstormed places and activities where we have had great conversations without a screen distracting us. We came up with three ideas: sitting in a hot tub talking, sitting around a campfire, and taking hikes in nature.

THREE

Making Your New Family Reality Happen

Once you have tangible ideas on how to make your vision your reality, how do you get started? If you need to buy something and/or take something away to make some positive change in your family, DO it!

Our ultimate goal was to get a hot tub, but it wasn’t in the budget. So we started out buying an inexpensive gas firepit from Costco. We called it our poor-man’s hot tub. We chose a gas fire pit because we knew that if we had to go through the process of starting a fire, collecting and splitting logs, it just wasn’t going to happen. The convenience factor of just flipping a switch to get an instant fire is lovely, plus we don’t smell of smoke afterward- win-win!

Since our fire pit is portable, we have had a fire in our front lawn and invite neighbors and of course, we have used it in our backyard. Our fire pit is a conversation hub and gives us the rustic camping feel without the effort and planning. Plus, I’m not ready to go all-out camping with my little ones yet.

To our great surprise, we landed a crazy deal and bought a hot tub. We weren’t planning on buying a hot tub anytime soon (our plan was to buy one in 5-7 years). But, I found one while I was on the NextDoor App for $200 and it was in great condition. So, we bought it and LOVE it. We have the temperature down low enough that my family goes in the evenings or I take the kids in with me in the morning. My husband and I will go in when the kids go to bed. We talk about our day and everything without distractions. Quality time is my number one love language, and by having the hot tub, we are able to spend more quality time as a family and with my husband.

We also started going on more walks and hikes as a family. Exploring nature is so much fun and we want our kids to experience the outdoors. We live near many paved trails that are ideal for strollers and biking. Our goal this summer is to take our family biking.

What or where is your new conversation hub going to be? It’s time to turn your vision for your family into a reality. Don’t expect a quick-fix or that your family is going to be perfect. We aren’t perfect, and no one is. Keep working on creating your new families normal, and soon enough it will become your families way of life.
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Create a Family Culture that Loves to Read

Create a Family Culture that Loves to Read

by | Aug 9, 2018 | Intentional Living, Parenting

Create a Family Culture that Loves to Read

 

There is so much negativity out there on reading. So many adults and kids hate reading. I want my kids to enjoy and love reading. I love the quote by Harry Truman, “Leaders are readers.” This is so true!! Being a continual learner is key to success.

 

Reading opens our eyes to new ideas, potentials, and creativity we would never have had. I can honestly say, I would be a totally different person today if I didn’t read. Reading has transformed my life. Books have changed my perspective and helped guide me through marriage, pregnancy, parenting, and so much more. 

 

Create a Family Culture that Loves to Read 3
Create a Family Culture that Loves to Read 4

I want to instill in my kids the hunger for learning and the love of reading for their own pleasure. Plus, reading is incredibly beneficial for our kids.

Check out these reading statistics:

–Reading aloud to young children is not only one of the best activities to stimulate language and cognitive skills; it also builds motivation, curiosity, and memory.

–The single most significant factor influencing a child’s early educational success is an introduction to books and being read to at home prior to beginning school.

-Creating a steady stream of new, age-appropriate books has been shown to nearly triple interest in reading within months.

As you can see, reading is so important in our children’s development. So how do we encourage a culture of reading at home?

4 Ways to Encourage Your Kids to Read

ONE

Turn the T.V. Off

The television is such a convenience and it is our cultures normal. The average child watches about 24 hours of T.V. each week. Yikes!  Television encourages kids to feel the need to be constantly entertained. Not only that, T.V. doesn’t stimulate our kid’s brains and it decreases their physical activity level.

If your kids are used to a lot of screen time, start replacing that time with reading.  Yes, it will take time and may feel like an inconvenience, but it is worth it.  Being able to read to my kids gives them quality time with me while they are learning.

TWO

Create Reading Routines

Kids thrive on routines. Start adding reading into your existing routines. In the morning and/or at bedtime, read a devotional or a few stories. If your kids are older, read book series like the Narnia series by C.S. Lewis before bedtime. Make reading to your kids a habit so it happens.

THREE

Go to the Library

Go to your library frequently and let your kids choose their own books. Libraries are a great way for your kids to read a variety of books, plus you don’t have to own tons of books. Libraries are really upping their game. Check out my post, “4 Surprising Free Resources at the Library.”

There are tons of classes for kids and adults of all ages. You can check out more than just books too. We have checked out camera lenses, puppet and book kits, cake pans, fishing poles, scrapbooking tools, projector and screen and so much more. The resources are amazing. Check out your libraries digital books and programs. Most of the books I read are free from the Hoopla App.

FOUR

Change your Mindset and What You Say

So many people have a negative attitude towards reading. If your kid has a negative attitude or maybe you do, address it. Change the way you talk about reading. If your child dislikes reading, don’t allow them to say negative things about reading. Teach them to rephrase it by saying things like “I am practicing reading” or “I’m learning to enjoy reading.”

There is so much research on mindsets. Most of us want our kids to have a growth-mindset and not a fixed mindset. In a fixed mindset, a child would say I am not a good reader and they would feel like that is their fate. They don’t believe that they could ever be a good reader, it is fixed.

But a growth-mindset child would say “I am working on becoming a better reader,” they know that it is within their power to be able to achieve or not. Pay attention to how you talk about reading. If you are negative towards reading, your children are more likely to be negative too.

If you say that you don’t have time to read, change what you are telling yourself. Let your children watch you read. Start changing your mindset first, and then watch how your family will follow.

Make reading a priority in your family and watch your family change and grow. Let’s make reading a priority so our children will have bright futures.
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Are You Teachable, Momma?

Are You Teachable, Momma?

by | Aug 5, 2018 | Intentional Living, Motherhood, Parenting

Are You Teachable, Momma?

One of the most important qualities I want to live out and pass on to my kids is being teachable.  If you are teachable, you are constantly learning, doing research, being a good listener, and moving forward. Being teachable casts away pride.

I never want to be unteachable. When we get to the point that we think we know the right way or the only way, that is when we stop growing. I’m sure you have heard the saying that ‘they are just stuck in their ways’. I don’t want to become stuck in my own ways when I get older. That is such a limiting mindset and doesn’t help anyone.

Are You Teachable, Momma? 5
Are You Teachable, Momma? 6

I’m starting to see a lot of moms who are already ‘stuck in their ways.’ This is really sad. I don’t know if it is a generational characteristic or what. But, I don’t think any mom can truthfully say they are an expert in parenting and that their way is the right way.

When moms stop being teachable, they won’t listen to feedback, read books, blogs, or listen to podcasts that will help them become a better mom. They suffer and their kids suffer.  We are not meant to be know-it-alls.

Relationships are built when we are teachable. We want our children to be teachable, so shouldn’t we be teachable? I’m not trying to finger-point, but this is a problem. There are some areas in my parenting that I need to be more teachable. This is a process.

So how do we become more teachable?

ONE

Don’t be Judgy

Listen to someone who has different parenting views than you and ask questions. Learn from others why they are parenting the way they are. Ask them questions so you can understand them. Learn from other perspectives. You still might disagree with them, but you will able to understand their heart. Most moms are just wanting to do what is best for their kids. Their method might look different than yours, and that’s ok.

TWO

 Start Learning Again

Read a new parenting book, blog, or podcast. Knowledge is power. I can’t imagine what my life would be like if I never read or listened to podcasts. My parenting style changed from one book. Books have changed my life for the better. And if you feel like you don’t have time, listen to audiobooks or podcast. Make time for it. Readers are leaders.

THREE

Watch What You Say

What we say becomes our child’s inner voice. Are we uplifting our kids or constantly scolding them? How do you talk to your children?

What we say about our kids and to our kids becomes their future. I just read an amazing parenting book called “Why I Didn’t Rebel” by Rebecca Gregoire Lindenbach. She talked about how the majority of kids that rebel has parents that call their kids stubborn, sassy, drama-queen, or say things like when he becomes a teenager, he is going to sneak out. And guess what, when you speak negative things into your child’s identity, they will fulfill it. We need to speak words of life over our children.

If you feel like you are stuck and not moving forward in life, become teachable. We are never meant to be stuck in our ways. Never stop learning. Mend broken relationships that have been damaged by different beliefs or perspectives. Listen and learn. Let’s start uplifting mothers, we all need it!
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A Fresh Perspective on Every Season of Motherhood

A Fresh Perspective on Every Season of Motherhood

by | Aug 4, 2018 | Intentional Living, Living with Less, Motherhood, Parenting

A Fresh Perspective on Every Season of Motherhood

I see so many stressed out and crazy busy moms. They live and breathe exhaustion. It seems like so many moms are just waiting for that next season of motherhood. I’ve heard these phrases countless times:

  • once my kids are out of diapers then…
  • once my kids are old enough to go to school…
  • once my kids are old enough to drive…
A Fresh Perspective on Every Season of Motherhood 7
A Fresh Perspective on Every Season of Motherhood 8

Why do we always think that grass is greener on the other side? Why aren’t we enjoying the season that we are in? We seem to think that the older our kids get, the easier our lives will be.  But from my observation, it seems that parents seem to be more stressed out the older their kids get. So why?

4 Ways to Start Enjoying the Season You are in

ONE

We are too Busy

We start off being busy with feeding our kids and changing diapers and managing our babies lives and then we transition to different forms of busyness like taking kids to practices.

So many moms I know don’t know how to be still.  We are not meant to run a marathon for eighteen years. We need to rest and take care of ourselves.

Cut out the activities and obligations that are stressing out the family. Start saying no to things. The best memories our kids have are from the moments when we are not busy, and we take the time to enjoy life.

TWO

Take Care of Yourself First, then Your Kids

Many moms serve, serve, serve to the point that they snap at any little thing and they believe they will never have time to do what they want until their kids go off to college.

We have to start putting ourselves before our kids. This may sound selfish but stay with me. If we take care of ourselves well, we become better mothers. Shouldn’t we be modeling to our kids how to take care of themselves? If we run ourselves ragged, how will that help them?

Just because we have kids, doesn’t mean that we need to put our life on hold for years. If our identity is wrapped up in our kids, what happens when they move out?

Start doing the hobbies you love. Start journaling, reading, running, and whatever else brings you joy. Let your kids participate in your passions. They need to see you as a person and not just their mom.

THREE

Step out of Survival Mode

So many moms are living in survival mode all. of. the. time. and they believe that that is the way of motherhood. There can be seasons of survival mode, but that shouldn’t be our permanent existence.

I think that some moms realize that they are in survival mode, but a lot of moms don’t. They have been on the motherhood journey and are just exhausted.

Ladies, there is hope. We are meant to live for more than just mundane tasks and being a chauffeur. Being teachable and having an open mindset is what is blocking mothers from enjoying freedom. You have control of your time. Start believing it. You can make the change.

FOUR

Get Rid of Your Stuff

This one may throw you off, but hear me out. What we own is one of the biggest stressors we have.

Once I started purging my possessions, I have had more time, energy, and way less stress. I have been able to be more present with my kids.

I’ve been helping other moms go through their possessions and they all have found freedom.  They are able to do family outings and do things instead of clean. Start cutting out stressors in your life.

Let’s enjoy the season of life we are in because these seasons go so fast. Life is going to go by at light-speed, we might as well have a positive perspective on it.

If you are feeling trapped in motherhood, slow down, breathe and cut the excess in your calendar, activities, and even your stuff. Start taking care of yourself, so you can care well for your family.

We are in this together, let’s enjoy each moment with our precious kids.

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How to Create a Family Mission Statement

How to Create a Family Mission Statement

by | Aug 4, 2018 | Intentional Living, Parenting

How to Create a Family Mission Statement

Are you are wanting to become more intentional with your family, but you’re not sure what that looks like? Start by creating a family mission statement.

A mission statement may seem too corporate for you, but hear me out. It will really get your whole family on the same page. The family mission statement gives you a chance to prioritize what your family is all about.

 

How to Create a Family Mission Statement 9

Companies, clubs, businesses and pretty much every organization has a set of core values that they refer to when they need redirection. Shouldn’t we decide what our families core values are so we can refer back to them? As parents, we are the CEO’s of our homes.

I want my kids to know and understand what our family stands for. The family mission statement becomes your families identity; their DNA.

So how do you create your own family mission statement?

How to Create a Family Mission Statement 10

How to Create a Family Mission Statement:

ONE

List Core Values

Create your family’s core values with your spouse, and if your kids are older, have them contribute too. You could make this a family meeting. This list should not be created by just one person in the family. Collaboration is key. Here are some examples of values you could use: generous, caring, loving, etc.

In my family, my husband and I prayed and brainstormed what we wanted our family to look like (our kids are too young to contribute to the conversation). We started by writing Riches are… and then jotted down our values. We wanted a list that was short and easy to remember.

Spending this time with my spouse really connected us and helped us be on the same page with our parenting. If your spouse isn’t on board, you can make this less formal by asking what they want your kids to be like when they are older.

TWO

Rank the Values

Now that you have a good list of family values, decide which values are most important to your family. You can number or star them or whatever method you would like. We tried limiting our core values so it would be easier to remember and less overwhelming. Try to limit your list to ten or less. Talk with your spouse about this and your kids (if they are old enough).

When deciding what to cut and keep, consider what your kids need to work on. If one of your kids are struggling with lying, add in honesty or truthful. That way when your child lies, you can say _(your last name)_ are honest. You can then use the mission statement to reinforce the good qualities you want your kids to possess. You can always adapt your mission statement later on, so don’t let that deter you from writing your mission statement.

THREE

Put the Mission Statement Together

You are at the point of writing your mission statement. Try to get to the point, and not be too wordy. Make the mission statement work for you. The easiest way to start is by writing your last name are… and list your values in whatever order you want. You can write your mission statement by putting the most important values first. Be creative here and make your mission statement fit your family’s personality.

FOUR

Display your Mission Statement

A family mission statement doesn’t do much good if it is written and left in a notebook. This is the most important step! Don’t skip it! Make your family mission statement really impactful, by displaying it in your home.

We typed our mission statement up, printed it numerous times, and framed it. I bought small black frames from the dollar store to display it. Our framed mission statement is throughout our house. We have our family mission statement on display in our hallway, kitchen, kid’s bathroom, and dining room.

If you are needing some ideas on ways to display your family mission statement, here are a few…

  • paint it on a canvas or wood board
  • use a program like Illustrator or PhotoShop to customize your own
  • type it out on a Word or Pages Doc and print off
  • use colored paper/ink
  • make it your phone’s background
  • make it your computer’s background

The more we see our family mission statement, the greater the impact it will have. What our families stand for is so important. Go create your families mission statement.  We are in this together. Let’s be intentional in raising our children- the future generation.