A Fresh Perspective on Every Season of Motherhood

by Amberlee Rich | Aug 4, 2018 | Intentional Living, Living with Less, Motherhood, Parenting | 0 comments

A Fresh Perspective on Every Season of Motherhood

I see so many stressed out and crazy busy moms. They live and breathe exhaustion. It seems like so many moms are just waiting for that next season of motherhood. I’ve heard these phrases countless times:

once my kids are out of diapers then…
once my kids are old enough to go to school…
once my kids are old enough to drive…

A Fresh Perspective on Every Season of Motherhood 1

A Fresh Perspective on Every Season of Motherhood 2

Why do we always think that grass is greener on the other side? Why aren’t we enjoying the season that we are in? We seem to think that the older our kids get, the easier our lives will be. But from my observation, it seems that parents seem to be more stressed out the older their kids get. So why?

4 Ways to Start Enjoying the Season You are in

ONE

We are too Busy

We start off being busy with feeding our kids and changing diapers and managing our babies lives and then we transition to different forms of busyness like taking kids to practices.

So many moms I know don’t know how to be still. We are not meant to run a marathon for eighteen years. We need to rest and take care of ourselves.

Cut out the activities and obligations that are stressing out the family. Start saying no to things. The best memories our kids have are from the moments when we are not busy, and we take the time to enjoy life.

TWO

Take Care of Yourself First, then Your Kids

Many moms serve, serve, serve to the point that they snap at any little thing and they believe they will never have time to do what they want until their kids go off to college.

We have to start putting ourselves before our kids. This may sound selfish but stay with me. If we take care of ourselves well, we become better mothers. Shouldn’t we be modeling to our kids how to take care of themselves? If we run ourselves ragged, how will that help them?

Just because we have kids, doesn’t mean that we need to put our life on hold for years. If our identity is wrapped up in our kids, what happens when they move out?

Start doing the hobbies you love. Start journaling, reading, running, and whatever else brings you joy. Let your kids participate in your passions. They need to see you as a person and not just their mom.

THREE

Step out of Survival Mode

So many moms are living in survival mode all. of. the. time. and they believe that that is the way of motherhood. There can be seasons of survival mode, but that shouldn’t be our permanent existence.

I think that some moms realize that they are in survival mode, but a lot of moms don’t. They have been on the motherhood journey and are just exhausted.

Ladies, there is hope. We are meant to live for more than just mundane tasks and being a chauffeur. Being teachable and having an open mindset is what is blocking mothers from enjoying freedom. You have control of your time. Start believing it. You can make the change.

FOUR

Get Rid of Your Stuff

This one may throw you off, but hear me out. What we own is one of the biggest stressors we have.

Once I started purging my possessions, I have had more time, energy, and way less stress. I have been able to be more present with my kids.

I’ve been helping other moms go through their possessions and they all have found freedom. They are able to do family outings and do things instead of clean. Start cutting out stressors in your life.

Let’s enjoy the season of life we are in because these seasons go so fast. Life is going to go by at light-speed, we might as well have a positive perspective on it.

If you are feeling trapped in motherhood, slow down, breathe and cut the excess in your calendar, activities, and even your stuff. Start taking care of yourself, so you can care well for your family.

We are in this together, let’s enjoy each moment with our precious kids.

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How to Gain Freedom by Letting Go of Most of Your Clothes

by Amberlee Rich | Aug 4, 2018 | Living with Less

How to Gain Freedom by Letting Go of Most of Your Clothes

Cleaning out my closet was a little scary. I’ve got to be honest. I had to try on clothes that used to fit- ugg. Which is disappointing. It’s like swimsuit shopping with your whole closet. But once I truly tackled my closet and dealt with all the emotions, I found freedom.

So, let me give you a little of my backstory, I’ve never been a crazy clothing shopper. I’m not a fashionista. But my closet seemed to magically fill up even when I didn’t go clothes shopping. I have been given hand-me-down clothes all my life and I would go clearance shopping and buy random items. I love deals, and I used to buy super cheap clothes that I liked, but didn’t love.

How to Gain Freedom by Letting Go of Most of Your Clothes 3

How to Gain Freedom by Letting Go of Most of Your Clothes 4

My size has changed from having my two kids, so I have clothes in a variety of sizes which adds to the full closet. You know, I have kept those clothes I really want to be able to fit into someday, but when you try them on you can’t get them past your thighs. I don’t think I consciously thought that my closet made me feel bad about myself, but after I started going through it, it did.

At that point, I realized that I wanted to only keep clothes that made me feel good about myself and as Marie Kondo would say ‘spark joy.’ In the past, I would go through my closet and get rid of stuff, and then I kept bringing in more clothes that I didn’t actually love.

If you have been avoiding the process of purging your wardrobe, I feel you. By addressing the reason why you feel like you have nothing to wear in your full closet, you can find freedom. You will be able to have a closet full of clothes you love and keep it that way.

4 Steps to Let Go and Have a Closet You Love

ONE

Dump the Guilt

It is so easy to look at clothing and want to keep them because it was expensive, someone gave it to you, or it was sentimental. Guilt is no fun and should have no room in our closets. Instead of making excuses about why you should keep it, look at each item of clothing you own and decide if it makes you feel good when you wear it. If it doesn’t, donate it.

This was my ah-ha moment. I won a free pair of LuLaRoe leggings that were in a too small size. If you don’t know about these leggings, they are super soft and expensive. I would never normally buy them, so I felt like I should keep them. They fit me when I stood up, but when I sat or bent over, it cut into my gut and was uncomfortable. The leggings made me feel overweight, which is no fun. I was keeping a pair of leggings just because they were expensive, even though I felt like crap when I would wear them and see them in my closet.

Can you relate? What are you keeping because you have guilt about getting rid of it?

TWO

Let Go and Let Someone Else Enjoy your Clothes

When I started to really look at my closet, I realized that I kept on to clothes for all these what-if scenarios. Like if I lose weight, I will fit into these pants (even though they are ten years old). Do I really want to keep these items for that long and will I love them years from now? Probably not.

Instead of holding onto our clothes as a security blanket, let’s be generous and let others enjoy the clothes we don’t love. This mindset shift gave me a reason to purge my closet. By giving my clothes away to people I know and to organizations that I want to support, made this process easier for me. I want my stuff going to a good home.

THREE

Most People Wear 10% of their Clothes

This statistic blew me away and gave me permission to get rid of 90% of my closet (you don’t actually have to do the math, but you get the idea) without feeling like I will miss it.

Cutting out 90% of your closet might make you think you won’t have anything to wear, but evaluate what you actually wear. Do you have a hard time choosing clothes in the morning? It’s probably because you have more clothes that you don’t like than clothes that you love.

FOUR

Only Buy Clothes that you Love

It is so easy to buy clothes for retail therapy or because it is on sale. If we keep repeating our old patterns, our closets are going to be full again in no time with clothes that don’t fit right and are just ok. Be ruthless. Make a pact with yourself that you will only buy what you truly love even if it is a great deal. Just say no.

By buying less you are saving time and money. This is a win-win scenario, but you have to stick to your guns.

By changing the way we think about our clothing and our possessions, we are able to get rid of what is weighing us down. It is so easy to accumulate stuff. Let’s change our mindset and start loving what we look like right now while having a closet full of clothes we love.

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How to Create a Family Mission Statement

by Amberlee Rich | Aug 4, 2018 | Intentional Living, Parenting

How to Create a Family Mission Statement

Are you are wanting to become more intentional with your family, but you’re not sure what that looks like? Start by creating a family mission statement.

A mission statement may seem too corporate for you, but hear me out. It will really get your whole family on the same page. The family mission statement gives you a chance to prioritize what your family is all about.

How to Create a Family Mission Statement 5

Companies, clubs, businesses and pretty much every organization has a set of core values that they refer to when they need redirection. Shouldn’t we decide what our families core values are so we can refer back to them? As parents, we are the CEO’s of our homes.

I want my kids to know and understand what our family stands for. The family mission statement becomes your families identity; their DNA.

So how do you create your own family mission statement?

How to Create a Family Mission Statement:

ONE

List Core Values

Create your family’s core values with your spouse, and if your kids are older, have them contribute too. You could make this a family meeting. This list should not be created by just one person in the family. Collaboration is key. Here are some examples of values you could use: generous, caring, loving, etc.

In my family, my husband and I prayed and brainstormed what we wanted our family to look like (our kids are too young to contribute to the conversation). We started by writing Riches are… and then jotted down our values. We wanted a list that was short and easy to remember.

Spending this time with my spouse really connected us and helped us be on the same page with our parenting. If your spouse isn’t on board, you can make this less formal by asking what they want your kids to be like when they are older.

TWO

Rank the Values

Now that you have a good list of family values, decide which values are most important to your family. You can number or star them or whatever method you would like. We tried limiting our core values so it would be easier to remember and less overwhelming. Try to limit your list to ten or less. Talk with your spouse about this and your kids (if they are old enough).

When deciding what to cut and keep, consider what your kids need to work on. If one of your kids are struggling with lying, add in honesty or truthful. That way when your child lies, you can say _(your last name)_ are honest. You can then use the mission statement to reinforce the good qualities you want your kids to possess. You can always adapt your mission statement later on, so don’t let that deter you from writing your mission statement.

THREE

Put the Mission Statement Together

You are at the point of writing your mission statement. Try to get to the point, and not be too wordy. Make the mission statement work for you. The easiest way to start is by writing your last name are… and list your values in whatever order you want. You can write your mission statement by putting the most important values first. Be creative here and make your mission statement fit your family’s personality.

FOUR

Display your Mission Statement

A family mission statement doesn’t do much good if it is written and left in a notebook. This is the most important step! Don’t skip it! Make your family mission statement really impactful, by displaying it in your home.

We typed our mission statement up, printed it numerous times, and framed it. I bought small black frames from the dollar store to display it. Our framed mission statement is throughout our house. We have our family mission statement on display in our hallway, kitchen, kid’s bathroom, and dining room.

If you are needing some ideas on ways to display your family mission statement, here are a few…

paint it on a canvas or wood board
use a program like Illustrator or PhotoShop to customize your own
type it out on a Word or Pages Doc and print off
use colored paper/ink
make it your phone’s background
make it your computer’s background

The more we see our family mission statement, the greater the impact it will have. What our families stand for is so important. Go create your families mission statement. We are in this together. Let’s be intentional in raising our children- the future generation.